I bought an exercise video once, (Buns of Steel), brought it home, wrestled with the cellophane prison holding the precious contents locked inside.
Once freed, I popped it into the player and sat down to “watch” it. Yep, I sat in that beautiful buttercream colored leather overstuffed La-Z-Boy recliner rocker and watched with keen observation, the tight spandex super fit babe with a perfect hard tail “go at it” with what seemed about 30 muscle tearing motions.
My self-rationalization for the exercise preview was that I should “watch” it first to learn before trying to practice. I mean c’mon who wants to pull or strain anything well… uh…. right there?!
My dream booty was only 30-minutes-three-times-a-week away.
In honest reflection, I think I spent more time getting the DVD out of it’s store-bought protective anti-theft casing than I ever did in actually doing any of the butt remodeling exercises.
Any good consistent under achiever worth their salt realizes the value of integrating underachievement into every aspect of their life.
That being said, how many proverbial “videos” have I sat and watched in my personal and professional life? How is it that I so often in my life have had the experience of being clear about what I want…. clarity of focus and vision…yet for some reason don’t quite seem to get there?
I mean… I have books, tons of books… on the subject of…. uh…. many subjects. I love to read (I love to watch videos). And, I love to think. I love to think. Did I mention I enjoy thinking?
Mostly I like to think about what I’m going to write, yet never seem to get pen to paper.
A wise mentor of mine once said, “Writing is the doing part of thinking.” Mmmmmm…. so it’s in the doing that I have let myself down in the past.
I began looking at all the highly creative ways in which I had cleverly disguised my lack of commitment or follow-through to me. My own self. Ouch.
To thine own self be true??? The hard fact and harsh reality is that I would never attain a dream derriere… or a life of personal and professional success with this self-commitment phobia of mine. When would I say “I do” to me?
Ahhhhh…. the joys of waking up… no Folgers in this cup. Acidic and harsh on the stomach? Yep.
Being more inclined to Mary Poppins-type imaginative thinking, I go for some “sugar” to make my medicine go down. (Who’s counting spoons?)
And no, I don’t mean alcohol or alternative substances. (”Perhaps an occasional Nutella Belgian Chocolate binge, but that’s it… I swear.” *Handing the little plastic cup back to the nice lady in the white lab coat.* )
Seriously, my “sugar” is the new mercy available in the morning. It’s hope. It’s the realization of what I could have, be, or experience in my life if I would but “do” what I read in those thousand books of mine, (or watch on an occasional exercise instructional video), wink! Wink!
So, what’s the difference between a Top Gun and a Frady Cat? Commitment…
Where are you not committed to you? Are there areas in your life where you have not trusted yourself? How bad do you want those buns of steel? (Oh ya, sorry, that was for me.)
I dunno, but maybe in seeing that we disappoint ourselves… we fail us… we do it to us far more than anyone else does it to us, we can then embrace the responsibility to finally say “yes” to us.
Will you take you? … to have and to hold from this day forward?
“I do.”
February 28th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
I totally get the frustration of procrastination, after all my underwear drawer really needs organizing, and I simply must read about the latest dumb thing that John Mayer has said. But when I do manage to kick myself in the butt and hike up the canyon and then manage write 1,000 more words in my new book, I pat myself on the back and feel like a real champ!
February 28th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
First of all: What I saw on the vid is perfect as it is. No need for any extra exercises
Self-commitment .. mmm .. When I look at myself it often depends on the topic how strong my self-commitment is. It’s also a question of self-confidence. During phases when I’m highly motivated I think I can make everything becoming an overwhelming success. During phases when the motivation level is under 80% I give the exact same stuff to others, because in some ways I don’t have enough trust in myself to have the capacity or power to get the things done in a way it should be done. What looks in some ways negative grants on the other hand the high quality level most of my customers ask for. I’m in the real estate and construction industry for nearly 20 years now. The offers are about real estate with high tech/high end and automated green features. So if I can’t give 100% into it the outcome will look the same. Then it’s better to give it to someone else instead. That’s for the professional level. On the private level I’m 100% committed to myself. I’m part time single, which means sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not and for the rest counts “If it feels good, just do it!”. In my private life things I don’t like I don’t do. Pretty simple, effective and not much room to fail or foul myself
) The only real commitment lack I found so far is about relationships. For whatever reason I’m not able to stay committed for longer then two years. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy. If we would come together today you can place a $1,000 bet that it’s over again between February and April 2012. Last time we tricked a bit. My ex and I broke up after 1 year and 10 month, have had a two month brake and started the relationship again, so that it lasted nearly 4 years at the end. 
)
March 8th, 2010 at 9:23 am
Maria! Thank you for that comment…. soul Sista! You made me giggle… I see we relate! Knut, thank you for your comment. Sounds like you’ve already got a lot of conscious insight into that particular area of your life. If you are happy and accepting of it, then its not a problem for you. If you choose a different experience then what you’re used to creating… well, that is in your power to do as well. I see that you are a very powerful person. Much love to you and thank you again for being so willing to share yourself.
Loved hearing from both you & Maria! Making it REAL to have genuine communication!
XO,
Tamara
March 8th, 2010 at 10:21 pm
ЎUf, me gustу! Tan clara y positiva.
Kicker
March 10th, 2010 at 6:49 am
Hey Kicker! Gracias! xo!
March 11th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Hmnn.. I sometimes feel like the queen of procrastination, so I feel ya here. lol
I wish I could wriggle my nose and think myself into action on bad days, but unfortunately my name isn’t Jeannie.
So I procrastinate for a day, and then jump back into the fight the next day. :0
XoXo
March 20th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Thank you about notifying me of the RSS feed issue with my blog. It’s all fixed now, so it should work fine for you! Thanks again! xo!
May 8th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Hi Tamara!
Another EXCELLENT video message! You really got to the point of self-sabotage – something so many of us do too often, even over achievers.
You have such a genuine, earthy way of expressing yourself in your videos and in your writing. But I feel you do writing one better by making such videos and even more, by getting out there yourself and helping others through speaking.
On writing… for me, writing is not the “doing” act of thinking, it is a a visible “projection” of your thoughts. It is a start. It is what you actually do with what you write that counts – that you walk what you write. And it truly is what you do that defines you…
Which brings me back to you, Tamara — I love what you do, what you share… even your own shortcomings and what you do to rectify them. You are an inspiring proactive doer, Tamara! You help us get over those barriers of self-sabotage and achieve our goals! You’re one of Earth’s angels, Tamara!
May 12th, 2010 at 6:25 am
Tamara:
If you have not found Simon Sinek on UTube, I believe you will find inspiration and a source of focus.
Again, I believe this man will inspire you.
Thanks.
Carl